Friday, November 6, 2009

Little Jonathan


It's been 6 years today since I said goodbye to my little Jonathan. I remember how peaceful his little face looked--just like he was sleeping. I always wonder what he would look like today and if he would be anything like Monroe. Malaki still talks about him once in awhile--He misses the brother he never got to have. Having Zuri so close to his birthday has been strange for me this year. She is fresh and little just like he was so it is a constant reminder today. Her skin peeling off of her hands makes the memories even harder, as was his. It's kind of a bittersweet feeling. I mourn him but Im so happy she is here and healthy and I appreciate her all the more. I still do have fears I will wake up in the middle of the night and she will be gone. Im always waiting for something tragic to happen. I hate living this way but I can't help the thoughts even though if something were to happen it's all in Gods hands. I think all mothers check on their babies in the middle of the night but my senses after Jonathan have been heightened. Sometimes I wake up mutliple times b/c she hasnt woke up and I will check on her...holding my breath.
Saying goodbye and handing him over was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. that is one of those moments that play back in my mind. I miss my baby Ziggy (as Malaki called him) and can't wait to someday see and hold him again.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

It's A Girl!!!!!!




Welcome (Zuri) Zuriel Zurene Palmatier! Born Wednesday October 28, 2009 at 7:53 am. She was 7 pounds, 5 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long.
I know alot of people are suprised that we didnt stick with M's. I suprised myself too!
Zuriel is Hebrew and means "God is my rock". Zuriel was the son of Abihail (Num. 3:35). A Levite, Zuriel was chief prince of the Merarites at the time of the Exodus.
The surgery went great. They told me they started and my Dr. said they wouldn't take the baby out until Josh was in the room. For a minute that made me nervous he wouldn't make it in the room for the "big moment"--but he was there when she arrived. The nurse by my side told me the baby had "lots of hair!" and I said "It has hair?!" This would be my first baby to have this much hair.....and it's really dark! The nurses all made a fuss over her. She did have 2 circular bruises, 1 on each side of her face due to the fact they had to use forceps to get her out. they were gone in 2 days-- babies heal so quickly!
She was a little jaundice so she spent her last 2 days on a billy blanket (another little glow worm). I had been in the hospital for 5 days and was ready to go home. My recovery was the best ever. I only took Motrin for pain when I needed it as where in the past I would be on Vicadin(sp) right after delivery and even at home. I feel for the first time I have been able to enjoy my baby due to how well recovery was and not having to be medicated for tremendous pain (so thankful to God for this). Josh had spent most of that time at home redoing our bedroom (new paint and floors). It was supposed to be a surprise but I am not easily surprised. Thanks for working so hard babe....I do LOVE our new room:)
Zuri seems to be a good mix of the both of us,unlike Malloy who looked just like Josh from the moment I first saw her. Monroe just adores her- She wont stop kissing her. Malaki likes her too- His plan is since she wasn't a boy he'll make her a tomboy. Malloy didn't like to even get close to her let alone look in her direction -- She says "I don't like her" and "I don't want her". Today she told daddy to "put it down". We did get her to hold the baby yesterday. She wanted me to take her picture so I told her she had to hold the baby and she did but was ready to be done right after the pic. She also keeps calling her a him/he. She is warming up to having a new member of the family:)
Zuri has been so wonderful. I love her tremendously. I think with each child my love for them gets bigger. I thought that it would be opposite having more children would make me used to having them or take for granted how wonderful they are but it's nothing like that. It just gets better and deeper with each one. I thank God for all the blessings he has given me......recently I feel they have been numerous. I feel so fortunate for how well everything went and that Zuri is healthy and on top of that a really good baby (and I think she has been my cutest yet).
It may sound silly but I think Josh not having a job has been the best thing that could have happened. Our medical bills are paid in full, he has developed a better relationship with the kids, he gets to spend more time then usual with his new baby girl (these times fly), and we get to spend some much needed time with him. All evidence that God is provident and sovereign!!!
I am excited to see where he is taking us and what is in store next.
Josh is such a wonderful dad--I hope our kids realize how lucky they are.